


Blue Sand, Red Crabs

by Hagiology



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Cigarettes, Drowning, Emotional, Feelings, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-30
Updated: 2020-05-30
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:41:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24456100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hagiology/pseuds/Hagiology
Summary: Atsumu felt the heavy waters clashing onto his chest. He can’t breathe, but made no struggles to pull himself up. In his eyes, there was blue all around him, and bubbles that would always rise to the surface, leaving him behind, dropping to the ocean floor. Static as he is, he made sure his arms were out, like an invitation to the endless waters surrounding him. They responded by pushing him down, and further down.
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Comments: 4
Kudos: 49





	Blue Sand, Red Crabs

Atsumu felt the heavy waters clashing onto his chest. He can’t breathe, but made no struggles to pull himself up. In his eyes, there was blue all around him, and bubbles that would always rise to the surface, leaving him behind, dropping to the ocean floor. Static as he is, he made sure his arms were out, like an invitation to the endless waters surrounding him. They responded by pushing him down, and further down.

Atsumu then woke to the sound of wind chimes and a hint of sunset out the windows. The sun slowly entered the waters with its sublime lights, calling for the end of the day. Atsumu looked around the room, which slowly turned to grey as he did not bother to turn on the lights, letting only the moon fill his room. The bedsheets were scrambled up, huge sweat stains as if he did just come out of near drowning experience. Atsumu sat up and reached for his cigarettes, soon the room was filled with more than just the greyness, but also the blurriness from the fumes. 

He didn’t know what he was expecting when he decided to go to the beach for a night walk. It was mid-summer, but accompanied by chilling winds that blew past his messy, blond locks. Atsumu felt safe in the near-darkness, only the reflective water surface was visible if anyone looked this way. 

It appears to not be the case, because he then saw the black curly hair and the face he would never forget. Sakusa wasn’t wearing his mask this time, maybe he thought the beach was cleaner than the hotel room. He looked blue. Both physically and emotionally. The night sky made him look paler. 

Atsumu always had a secret from the start. From the Spring High tournaments. He saw the most powerful spikes made by this person. He had always imagined the ball coming off of his own fingers, as light as the wind lifting up the fallen petals of sakuras, and into the perfect position for Sakusa to make his impressionable spike. They would see the ball whirl down and within a second---they look at each other like they had conquered the world together. 

This feeling of admire had gone on a different path ever since they became teammates on the Black Jackals. Atsumu soon realized that it was not only mere fanboy feelings, but more than that. It was fused with jealousy, admire, high, passion and more or less, pain. Love. 13 and 15 were two numbers that had inherently no connection to each other, just like them two. Pain overpowers any other emotions. Atsumu wonders how Sakusa would be like if he were to date someone. Smile? Which he doesn’t do a lot. Kiss? Can’t imagine. Sex? Maybe first use a bottle of rubbing alcohol. The more he thought, the more he felt rotten, the more he felt he was going to smell like the worst bottle of vinegar. Atsumu craves everything that Sakusa does not want to do.

Atsumu’s feet tingled in the sand that was painted blue by the sky, which brought him back to reality. He looked down to see a red crab clinging, waving his claws as if he had any damage to the large human. Atsumu took him off and settled him on a rock. He breathed in, staring at the person again, and called out.

“Omi-Kun!”

The person was clearly alarmed by the loud voice that cracked the quietness. Sakusa made an unpleasant face, but did not respond otherwise. Atsumu took the time to settle beside him, only to see Sakusa trying to ball himself up to avoid being in a space with him. Atsumu sighed but allowed his legs to stretch out. He noticed that the little crab followed him.

“Why is Omi-kun here?”

Sakusa stared at him, Atsumu didn’t have the heart to stare back his dark eyes, afraid it was going to know everything. 

“I couldn’t sleep.”

Sakusa eventually responded with.  
Atsumu nodded, showing that he was in the same situation. He pulled out another cigarette from his pockets and handed one to Sakusa.  
Sakusa was clear that he did not want to share this fume-generating stick.

“Omi-kun is boring... you should try alcohol, or cigarettes at least sometimes.”  
“They are more used for people to try to say they are mature… when they are not.”

Atsumu coughed when he heard that after inhaling the fumes, laughing awkwardly as the lightened end of the cigarette fell into ashes. 

“Omi-kun is always a destroyer.”

Atsumu said it as if he was trying to symbolize Sakusa as more than a destroyer of nice situations. He didn’t realize how much sorrow he leaked out with those fumes. But it seems that Sakusa didn’t notice, rather tried to fan away the fumes. 

They sat quietly for a moment. Atsumu turned to his thoughts.  
Why is he in love? What is love?

Atsumu thought of when he went against Itachiyama, the sweat and the excitement that triggered his instincts. To see Sakusa competitive, spiking, running, triggered his every emotion. Atsumu thought he was supposed to want to win, or hate him for being the winning person.   
But he felt more relieve than ever. To know someone is better than him, to know that he could one day beat him. This feeling continues to excite him as maybe one day Sakusa will see him as the same.  
But they are both 20 something now, on the same team, and Atsumu felt as if Sakusa was further than ever.  
He hated it.  
He hated that he cannot make Sakusa feel that excitement. That feeling of knowing each other the best as ‘enemies’. He wanted for Sakusa to feel happy, but knowing that who will make him happy is not Atsumu himself makes him raise a brow. Atsumu knows that one day Sakusa will find the one for him, someone who do not request for a touch, who do not get mad because of too much sanitizing, or who do not fight on the problem of when to get a vaccination. But the idea that that person is not Atsumu makes him inhale the smokes deep into his throat. 

Atsumu didn’t realize he was on the last cigarette, he decided something with that last cigarette.

“Omi-kun, do you want to swim?”

The person looked at him in disbelief.

“Are you drunk or something?”

Atsumu wasn’t drunk. But he felt high, like the feeling he described to be in love. He finished his last cigarette and reached for Sakusa. Sakusa inched at his reach, but ultimately cannot do anything as Atsumu pulled him towards the water. Both of them had their white shirts on, which made them seem bright under the dark night. Atsumu noticed yet again another pinch of red, but on Sakusa this time. The red crab clings tightly onto Sakusa’s shirt, just like Atsumu right now. 

“Are you crazy?!”

Sakusa yelled, only to see Atsumu smiling at the moon, then at him.

“I love you, Kiyoomi.”

Sakusa widened his eyes, then allowed the ocean to lift him up as Atsumu let go his arms.

“It’s ok, you don’t have to love me.”

Atsumu followed up, seemingly relieved at the situation. He felt the sand being washed off from his feet, hoping the little crab would live through this by clinging onto Sakusa. But maybe it let go. Atsumu was tired, he heard his name being shouted one last time before he merged into the waters.

“Atsumu felt the heavy waters clashing onto his chest. He can’t breathe, but made no struggles to pull himself up. In his eyes, there was blue all around him, and bubbles that would always rise to the surface, leaving him behind, dropping to the ocean floor. Static as he is, he made sure his arms were out, like an invitation to the endless waters surrounding him. They responded by pushing him down, and further down.”

The truth is he wasn’t clear what embraced him. But it felt warm. He thought it was sea creature because he saw something curly, and black. All of his thoughts overpowered by the shape of the water embracing him. 

Atsumu woke up in the middle of the night, tears down his face, sweat stains on the bed sheets. He felt stupid for being so brave in his dreams.

He reached for his cigarettes, there were none.

**Author's Note:**

> I guess the ending was to say that his reality never occurred the same as his dreams. He didn’t have his cigarettes; he wouldn’t have made his decisions. In the end, he was only brave in his dreams.
> 
> cuties with emotional love confessions ;v;


End file.
